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Sunday, November 07, 2004

my own misery

what am i going to write? i have nothing in mind. i've been up to this level of what-is-the-matter-with-me crisis and its dreadful. yes i absolutely agree, i don't have a real life and now even my remaining intelligence has parted from me. is this a warning that the misery is about to begin or has already begun? the cells in my brain dramatically transformed into the black smokes that emit from burnt toast, which then emerged into thin air, adding to the grey cloud of pollution.

or am i being difficult? since the beginning of time when the earth was formed, making judgement has been the favourite hobby of mankind. maybe because of our ego, we judge in accordance to our own standards. hero and heroine - role models are made for us and we simply follow their deeds. what about our self-development? what about just being ourselves? i wish solely to be accepted for who i am, rather than a person whom i am required to be. can't i just be myself? society does not celebrate differences. my differences, my laughter are "thorns" in my side, especially combined with my cultural background and distinctive upbringing. altogether, its my uniqueness.

i feel i hate working anymore. exasperation, resignation, disappointment, cold feet? I don’t quite know how to describe what i’m feeling now.

i don't care whether i'm liked or not. ok, all right, i do care, but i'm not good with criticism. it's like a donkey kick.

end of the day i'd thought - life is huge. because it's filled with infinite variety of emotions and experiences.

what my iPod is playing: i'm not okay by: my chemical romance

KnOizKi ®

KnOizKi
November 9, 2004 04:43 PM PST

Glad yer back Isay. when are you updating your blog? I spoke with Treena in messenger and told me that Robin just proposed? Jayne & Ms Buntis sends text messages, Soy calls once and a while, and while you reads and leave messages. Now i miss everyone. Look ha, natuto na tuloy akong magsulat. Hirap pala maging seryoso? I will be posting more tagalog stories kse mas exciting ako dun. Anyways, talk to you soon. Thanks for the 'enlightenment'.
Isay
November 9, 2004 02:55 PM PST

hello! true, you're not the only one. I go through such phase at least once a week! Not an easy situation to be but hey, such is life... we all must go through it. Good thing we have blogs - at least that way we can share our thoughts - deepest thoughts at times. Isn't that a great thing. Cheers!
KnOizKi
November 8, 2004 08:14 PM PST

hi pep, ur so nice.

at times when you think so deep enough you become so paranoid about what life's gonna be in the next 24 hours until you realized its not the end of everything. this must be some sort of challenge to the structure of my daily life. it's probably the hidden tensions that causes me to operate in confusing ways. i know i can deal with this matters calmly.

anyways, can't wait exploring the tiny city this coming weekend and hoping it'll be fun.

gracias!

Pep
November 8, 2004 04:12 AM PST

Hey KnOizKi.
Your not alone here. Everyone goes through this once in a while.
It's called life.
It's not easy sometimes, but it can be fun most of the time.

You absolutely want to be yourself, bared to the bone, for the globe? This forum is surely the best place. If you feel you can't do it in person, do it virtually!

Good critisism is good. Bad is ...well bad! Know the difference and to hell with the rest!

Don't feel too down, buddy. You said it yourself: 'life is huge. because it's filled with infinite variety of emotions and experiences'.

Live it, love it, loveoneother!

Peace, amigo. If ever you need to talk .... :)
>> >>


	Isay November 9, 2004 02:55 PM PST hello! true, you're not the only one. I go through such phase at least once a week! Not an easy situation to be but hey, such is life... we all must go through it. Good thing we have blogs - at least that way we can share our thoughts - deepest thoughts at times. Isn't that a great thing. Cheers!


	KnOizKi November 8, 2004 08:14 PM PST hi pep, ur so nice. at times when you think so deep enough you become so paranoid about what life's gonna be in the next 24 hours until you realized its not the end of everything. this must be some sort of challenge to the structure of my daily life. it's probably the hidden tensions that causes me to operate in confusing ways. i know i can deal with this matters calmly. anyways, can't wait exploring the tiny city this coming weekend and hoping it'll be fun. gracias!


	Pep November 8, 2004 04:12 AM PST Hey KnOizKi. Your not alone here. Everyone goes through this once in a while. It's called life. It's not easy sometimes, but it can be fun most of the time. You absolutely want to be yourself, bared to the bone, for the globe? This forum is surely the best place. If you feel you can't do it in person, do it virtually! Good critisism is good. Bad is ...well bad! Know the difference and to hell with the rest! Don't feel too down, buddy. You said it yourself: 'life is huge. because it's filled with infinite variety of emotions and experiences'. Live it, love it, loveoneother! Peace, amigo. If ever you need to talk .... :)

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