Sunday, February 20, 2005

what is it? what does it mean for me?

after having a brunch with my brother and his kids today, i was sort of holding back whether i should be walking with them throughout the day and enjoy the pleasant weather giving me an indefinite moment of chill. but i pleaded going solo to catch up on my sleeping syndrome. we split-up infront of the audio visual shop after thoughts of buying an altec lansing high-efficiency portable speakers for my iPod but decided not to buy as they are amongst my cockamamie wishes. it would be a shame to see another gadget sitting in my pc desk for few weeks not being used until it'll be left desolated after awhile.

as i walk out past the virtual area, i had these unpredictable thoughts that suddenly changed my mind, so i went to church hopefully to attend the mass. that i learned it's the second sunday in lent.

each lent we always hear the story of transfiguration which i had scarcely ever understand the whole meaning of it. we hear that Jesus is transfigured. but each time i begin a new year, i make a resolution to be transfigured. every lent i do the same. i always look in the mirror and say this lent, i will be transfigured by disciplining myself into eating properly or doing an exercise. and we all want to do that, wouldn't you?

we desire to be someone else, most of the time we look at some advertising and buy clothes with designer labels so we can look like the stars. and i do that all the time. we read about anything, diets, new trends, so we can be more fit. we always wanted to look good, to look perfect, to look pleasant. with all these things we wanted ourselves to change, mostly in our outside appearance. but do we take the same care of our souls? do we put the same amount of energy into making our faith life fit? do we try to imitate the life of Christ?

when i look in the mirror i do not always like what i see. i mean really, i want to be more fit, to be more in shape. and to get there i need a routine, perhaps a proper way of doing things to improve. i read, i follow simple rules, sometimes i need to get help. i try to improve when the desire gets strong enough to actually improve.

but when i look into my spiritual life and see myself in the mirror of honesty, i sometimes shiver. i see the things i have done wrong. and lenten rituals can only take me so far. when we enter into a deep relation with Him, our lives will change. we must start within ourselves.

how good the feeling really is to be able to hear the gospel today. and how good it is for me to experience the 'love of God that changed bread into the Body of Christ and wine into the Blood of Christ'. now i began to understand that i need to be renewed, my mind, my body and my soul.

it was a nice saturday evening for me. while i walk home, passing on those shops watching my reflections in the mirror, i can see myself now that this event is happening for me, not only during the lent, but every single day. now i have a clear vision of what i want to accomplish this easter. time to give up some stuff, suffer a little, say a few more prayers or help the poor a little more than usual. i know it's just not all simple, so enough of these 'must-haves lists'. time to take a step back from my normal routine in life, do some inner reflection and feel His presence.

the passion of the christ for DVD is a good idea to watch. at least i'll be solemnly inspired of the movie again even if i've watched it almost a couple of times.

God Bless everyone!

what my iPod is playing: u saved me by r kelly