Sunday, September 19, 2004

 do you sometimes get a sense of dread?

i am minding my own business and while i walk from my office enjoying my twist cone ice cream way home, i feel like a sudden thought of something, what if there's a sudden bus hit me while crossing the zebra line because i was enjoying much with my iPod or while licking the yummy cheap ice cream? maybe the last thing before i think, i'm already sitting in an ambulance.

i am having one of those feelings. and it's not because of the cheap ice cream from mCDonalds.

i am a worrier. i worry about being asked by some strangers finding the bus station when i never give myself the right directions as to whether i'm heading home or kill my time at some shopping mall. i worry about my iPod being crashed to the ground while i escape from the hundreds of people walking on zebra lines. there's always that feeling that i'm being watched by someone who thinks i got an ick on my face and mumbling at their friends. i worry that i would look dumbed singing by myself at my songs in my iPod.

i worry about the Hoobastank that perhaps, one day i will be bored listening to them as much as i like it at the moment. i worry about the glass doors at the mall when other people could even care less opening it before them. fuck! i can't be a doormen.

i worry about those people who drive their cars as if they own the entire road showing off their branded cars that somehow the police would catch them. what were they thinking?

do you think it's rude when you actually went inside Gucci shop and all these sales girl looks at you as if you can't afford to buy some piece of gu-shits? i worry about their salary being cut because they don't offer much help and give better service? i worry about those person at mcdonald counters when they can't even understand what a tissuepaper in english is about?

the lady from the 3G cellfone shop would make me very worried when she doesn't even know what's their product about? i worry that someday they should not look on someone's profile in their system and actually asked that you haven't paid your last bill. wouldn't you think it is appropriate if they can give you the correct lists? i worry about those system that for all i know, advance techonology are sometimes giving you headaches on how to use too many complicated keys in your cellfones?

i worry about the hairs i see on the floors when my maid doesn't even know how to open her eyes and see that i never had a long hair? it wasn't my hair! would you probably be worried when you think your own soap bar slipped into your hands and dropped them inside the toilet bowl? i worry about how to use the pump when you can't hold your crap to bowel?

i worry about Janet Jackson for being so dumb to have her latest album flopped in the market because of her wardrobe malfunctions when she can't admit shes old and Britney Spears looks better than her?

i worry about having too much coffee in the evening when it's almost 2am in the morning and i have 3hrs left to sleep? i worry of how i am gonna get up and look sluggish in front of my desk and still worrying if i brush my teeth. i hope i will no longer need to bring my mouthwash.

i worry about my job where i am only sitting with my boss beside me and for not giving me a break from telling corny jokes. i worry about those people on the treadmill where they can't even give a stretch before they hit the "start" button. even though i thought that i don't exercise everyday, i still have my tummy in placed and not folded when i still can actually wear a tee-fitted armani shirt? i worry that maybe the guy who always come to work out asked for band-aid everyday wondering why he cut himself when there's no wound on his body.

i worry that maybe the Watson's dispensary shop will eventually stop selling cigarettes so i can stop smoking. i worry that the tender will recognize me and will keep asking me to buy that freaking toblerone everytime i swipe my ATM card.

i worry about my nokia 7610 cellfone will finally be out of style and stupid phone company will eventually tells me that a latest new nokia design will be launched later this year. i worry that i may not have enough money in my wallet beacuse i have been spending stupid iPod accessories. but heck "NO".. i will never worry that much about it because i love my iPod. but shit, i worry about when i use it 24/7 while sleeping and find myself deaf from the earphones stucked on my ear-holes.

i worry that this blogging will never crashed on me when i am in the middle of publishing the day to day crap of whatever. i worry that i can't stop but keep thinking of anything unplanned for next 30mins.

i worry of so many things around the house that maybe those candles will no longer be usefull because it never had been used for decades because i can't afford to burn them as they were gifts from my dear friends.

i worry about growing grey hairs 3 years from now. shit, i don't wanna get old and say i am now entering the middle age crisis. it's so annoying when you see the calendar when christmas is here once again like a blink of an eye. so i worry about buying gifts for my nephews and godchildren. i worry about becoming bankcrupt for buying too much coldpicks in my fridge that has been stored past its expiry dates.

i worry too much about the movies that everyone can buy pirated DVD's. i worry of paying almost an equivalent of 3 DVD's when i should save the money for my meals.

i worry that i will never be able to feel secure again.

help me stop worrying!