Wednesday, March 09, 2005

i was at the lane crawford shop today looking for the jeans i mentioned earlier, when i received SMS from my sis today saying "do not text back, call me ASAP". i thought she'd be asking favors again about the price of the new nokia cellphones, but to my dismay, she said that she helped chaperon my mom to the hospital for her monthly check-ups, after her surgery few months ago. at the hospital, she said, that mama was complaining of unexplained pain on her thyroid area. she wasn't telling anyone about the pain, as she was worried that this will cause another problem, financially, just until today.

so i left the shop and decided not buying the jeans. and to hell with it, i'm not buying. 

my sis was telling me to shut up for a minute, i was worried along at a problem. i suddenly became speechless and could not anymore understand what she was explaining on the phone because i was too anxious asking her so many why's.

so eventually, they asked the doctor about the said pain and was advised that it is best for her to undergo bone scan this thursday to determine what causes the pain. but i knew from the fact that once she go for a bone scan, disease in the bone is always the common problem. so upon hearing this, it made me become sad like my whole body was going to fold compactly. i'm in a total shocked and could not believed that mama is going to have the bone scan. 

a bone scanning is like a nuclear scanning test to detect cancer that spread to the bones and to see if there's any infections. this is not a regular x-ray test and is done by injecting some radioactive tracer to be injected into a vein in the arm then travel through the bloodstream and to the bones. i heard about this since i studied nursing. although it is common mostly in middle-aged or older adults, it may however be treated with medication, or in rare cases, a surgery.

i mean, is this serious? is this happening to her? it got me all shook up. my sis told me to calm down and there's nothing to be worried about. i was still thinking that this is cancer. doing those test is to determine that a cancer from another area of her body has spreaded to the bone. the doctor said that bone scanning is fast and easy and no other special preparation needed. but even so, if 'hot spot' shows up after the scan, this may indicate the presence of cancer or other things.

i can't even think of what to do today except that i kept calling everyone in the family hour an hour and started to blow it off. they were sort of annoyed at me from thinking too negative. poor me. but what can i do? news like these can make you scream hysterically.

i couldn't talk to my mom on the phone or i will be crying like a baby but she talked to me and the only words she said is "pray and never to worry of anything, i will be alright".

i pray that the scan will be okay, mama. i miss you. i love you. now you're making me cry.

what my iPod is playing:  you raise me up by josh groban